Home Security Helpful Advice

THINGS YOUR BURGLAR PROBABLY WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... And taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.Com.)

8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU:

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina , Oregon , California , and Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.Com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

A Bit of Thanksgiving Humor

A Thanksgiving Meal Blessing

A hungry little boy was beginning to eat his dinner when his father reminded him that they hadn't prayed.

"We don't have to," said the little boy. "Mommy is a good cook!"


Thanksgiving Blessings

All the grand kids were visiting for Thanksgiving. Before dinner, Grandma made a lengthy speech about being thankful for her extra-special blessings, her four grandchildren.

Two seconds after she stopped speaking, all hell broke loose and the kids were yelling and grabbing for the home-made rolls.Grandma sat there, eyes closed with a tight squint on her face.

When asked what was the matter, she replied, "I'm just praying for a little patience to handle all these blessings."


Thanksgiving Prayer

A 4-year-old boy was asked to pray before Thanksgiving dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation.

He began his prayer, thanking the Lord for all his friends, naming them one by one.

Then he thanked the Lord for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank the Lord for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.

Then he paused, and everyone waited -- and waited.

After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank the Lord for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"

Please visit Oldman's Poetry Corner for my newest poem, Thanksgiving Reflection.

Mischievous Youngsters

Where is God?

A couple had two little boys who were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that an elder in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her sons. The elder agreed, but asked to see them separately.

So, the mother sent her youngest son first, in the morning. The elder, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response.So the elder repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer.

The elder raised his voice and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing, and they think WE did it!"

Advice for Women Concerning Men

Here are 10 pieces of advice for your mom, daughters, granddaughters, mieces, aunts, girlfriends, etc....


1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2.. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

5. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so we can tell them apart.

6. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

7. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

8. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

9. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

10. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

Assistance from Above?

A devoted and religious man was riding his horse one day hurriedly down the road, trying not to be late for church because he did not want to miss a single word of the pastor's sermon that morning. Suddenly, his horse stumbled on a stump in the road and threw him to the ground.

As he was lying in the middle of the road, his body bruised and scraped and his back wrenched in extreme pain, he called out to the heavens, “Please Lord, send me all your angels in heaven to help me get back up on my horse!”

With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse’s back however his force was so extreme he fell off the other side.

Again on the ground he called out, “All right, just half of you angels this time!”

Kids Are So Clever

This was reported as a true story. If so, these kids are quite inventive and will probably be the next great entrepreneurs.


A policeman had a perfect hiding place to screen speeding drivers. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, the officer investigated : a 9 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand-painted sign which said "SPEED CAMERA AHEAD."

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's partner in crime, another boy about 200 meters beyond the speed camera with a sign reading "TIPS" & a bucket at his feet full of coins.

History of Veterans Day

World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” - officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.”

In November 1919, President Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…"

An Act (52 Stat. 351; 5 U. S. Code, Sec. 87a) approved May 13, 1938, made the 11th of November in each year a legal holiday—a day to be dedicated to the cause of world peace and to be thereafter celebrated and known as "Armistice Day." Armistice Day was primarily a day set aside to honor veterans of World War I, but in 1954, after World War II had required the greatest mobilization of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen in the Nation’s history; after American forces had fought aggression in Korea, the 83rd Congress, at the urging of the veterans service organizations, amended the Act of 1938 by striking out the word "Armistice" and inserting in its place the word "Veterans." With the approval of this legislation (Public Law 380) on June 1, 1954, November 11th became a day to honor American veterans of all wars.

The Uniform Holiday Bill (Public Law 90-363 (82 Stat. 250)) was signed on June 28, 1968, and was intended to ensure three-day weekends for Federal employees by celebrating four national holidays on Mondays: Washington's Birthday, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Columbus Day. It was thought that these extended weekends would encourage travel, recreational and cultural activities and stimulate greater industrial and commercial production. Many states did not agree with this decision and continued to celebrate the holidays on their original dates.

The first Veterans Day under the new law was observed with much confusion on October 25, 1971. It was quite apparent that the commemoration of this day was a matter of historic and patriotic significance to a great number of our citizens, and so on September 20th, 1975, President Gerald R. Ford signed Public Law 94-97 (89 Stat. 479), which returned the annual observance of Veterans Day to its original date of November 11, beginning in 1978. This action supported the desires of the overwhelming majority of state legislatures, all major veterans service organizations and the American people.

Veterans Day continues to be observed on November 11, regardless of what day of the week on which it falls. The restoration of the observance of Veterans Day to November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date, but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America's veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good.


Exerts taken from The United States Department of Veterans Affairs

For more Veterans Day Pics visit Oldman's Inspirational Thoughts.

Cantankerous Minds Want to Know

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Tearing Down of Berlin Wall

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the tearing down of the Berlin Wall.

Here is President Ronald Reagan's speech challenging Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the wall.



Here is the celebration of actually tearing down the wall.

Helpful Blogger Award

Wow! I am proud to say Oldman's Cantankerous Point of View has received another award. I am very honored indeed. This award was presented to me by Rebecca at Living a Life of Writing. You should go and check out her blog because in my opinion it is a great and helpful blog in its own right.

According to the rules I must:

-Link to post where you received the award.
-Nominate seven blogs that you feel are helpful to others.
-Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
-Let them know they've received the award by commenting on their blog.
-Share one thing that no one knows about you & quote a sentence from your favorite book.

Here are seven blogs who truly deserve this award passed on to them.

Michelle at the Big Black Dog has a Fantabulous blog offering delicious recipes, helpful household hints and much more.

Christy Pinheiro, EA ABA is a non-fiction writer who offers many wonderful tips on writing and publishing. Be sure to check out her other blog as well.

Linda at Counseling in Santa Barbara is writing many inspirational articles on her blog which will challenge you to be all you can be and leave you with feelings of joy and peace.

Tim at Live Smart offers many articles on health and fitness. He has taught me a few things about my health which have really helped me achieve a happier and healthier lifestyle.

Michael Najarian has it right when he says on his blog he offers information and inspiration to enhance the quality of life. I always go away from his blog with a good feeling. It is hard for me to express how his writings have moved me.

Simon at The Rainbow Bank writes many historical and inspirational articles. I always leave there learning a thing or two.

De Lly Dilettante at The Trail of Bread offers inspiration for all. I recently discovered this blog and although she doesn't post there often, when she does it is well worth the wait.

One thing about me is I have been blessed with a good singing voice.

Quote: I really don't have a favorite book but I will leave you with this quote because I believe these people do a great job of shining their light upon the world. "You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under a bushel basket, but on the lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

Thanks again Rebecca and thanks to all of my followers for your continued support and encouragement.

FBI Agents and Pizza Man

This is reported as a true story.

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Francisco that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the group of agents got quite hungry. The FBI was taping all conversations at the hospital, this is what was recorded when the agent in charge called a nearby pizza delivery service to order.

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 20 large pizzas and 70 cans of coke.

Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: To the psychiatric hospital please.

Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.

Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?

Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.

Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?

Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.

Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?

Agent: I have my checkbook right here.

Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and cokes to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

Pizza Man: I don't think so. Click.

Stephen Wiltshire

This is amazing! He draws FROM MEMORY detailed landscapes of places like New York City and San Francisco. Stephen appeared on ABC News Good Morning America in February 2008. Stephen wowed the viewers with a quick sketch of Piccadilly Circus after a 10 minutes glimpse of the landmark. Stephen has also been named as Person of The Week on ABC World News with Charles Gibson. Nick Watt and Olivia Sterns reports.

Kitchen Wisdom

Martha Stewart and Maxine offer their words of wisdom on various tips to help you out in the kitchen.


Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!


To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.


When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!


If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, y ou will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'


Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!


Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.


Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!


If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.


Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!